i see my name in your inbox
and my heart skips a beat
when i remember i'm a part of your life
im not on the outside looking in
(this is real
i'm your friend)

we watch movies
all of us in a dark basement
and i enjoy it until
i see that the girl next to you
has casually placed
her leg on yours
i push it off with my eyes
(she doesn't even know you)
you just sit still but i still can't
help it my mind scrunches
up with unjustified jealousy

(when i smile
i try to catch your eye
when i laugh
i want you to catch mine)

you catch me
but not enough or not
what i think to be nearly enough
or maybe not
nearly what i want to be enough

i want to remember
all this forever
but i'm too lazy to write
it down

(i want you to be mine
but i'm too scared
to make a sound)

today
i went to go find you
and when i did
i realized the reason for your
stolen words

and that reason was not me
it was her and she
and i jumped back a little in my mind
and gasped
oh.

(for the rest of the night
i tried to avoid you
courtesy told me to avoid you
intelligence begged me to ignore you
but try as i might
my boredom yearned
to
interrupt)

Distress

i am a damsel in distress
rescue me
come on
prince in charming
i’m waiting
at the bodega around the corner
but where are you?
smoking a cigarette in the park
sweating in the night with your arm around another
girl
your tongue down her throat
fingers in her hair,
walking alongside me
but not seeing me
even though you’re looking me in the eye
you're not seeing my pain
the damsel in distress
the girl
crying help me
because i’m a mess